Mastering My Emotions
Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Ephesians 4:27 Neither give place to the devil.
Ephesians 4:28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.
Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
- One of the greatest untamed emotions in our life is anger.
- Most people come up with a whole list of rationalizations to justify their anger.
- But we as Christians never get angry, do we??? --we simply get righteously indignant. RIGHT!!!
- There was a story in the newspaper of a man who killed another man that cut in front of him on the freeway. This murderer explained that traffic had slowed down and was being funneled into a single lane. The man that is now dead went around the guy who killed him, on the median and then cut in front of him. If that wasn’t bad enough, the man who cut in line then made an obscene gesture at him with his finger. It was simply too much. Later when the traffic had stopped because of the backup, he said he reached over into his glove compartment, took out his gun, walked up to the man’s car and commenced shooting him to death.
- All of us are familiar with the tragedies that have resulted because of anger.
- Family domestic violence erupts because of anger.
- Husbands are abusing wives.
- Wives are killing husbands and cutting off body parts.
- Parents are abusing children.
- Children are killing parents.
- One of the most dangerous situations for a police officer to walk into is a domestic violence situation where anger has taken over.
- This message is for two kinds of people:
- Those who blow their cool easily--Hot Heads. We refer to them as having a short fuse. One fellow said I may blow up but it’s all over and done with. Yea, that’s true of an atomic bomb too, and it spews radiation over everyone that’s around.
- Maybe you’re not this type of person who blows up. Maybe you’re the kind of person who suppresses your anger and it begins to show up in various other places in life. You’re like a coke bottle that is shaken and has the lid removed; it spews all over the place! Maybe you keep a lid on it, but it’s like a volcano. You’re like the person who said, “When I repress my emotions, my stomach keeps score.” People are torn up on the inside trying to keep a lid on the outside.
- You can tell a lot about a person by three things:
- How often you get angry.
- What causes you to get angry.
- How long you stay angry.
- Those three things will tell you a great deal about a person.
- The anger that you and I have, whether it’s inward or outward, will eventually kill us.
- It not only damages relationships but it damages our physical bodies as well.
- Freedman and Rosedman, Cardiologists, wrote an article that describes this very issue: they said that hostility and anger can be fatal.
- It not only raises the odds that you will develop heart diseases but it increases the risk of suffering other life-threatening illnesses.
- Another report said that individuals who harbor anger and hostility toward others are five times more likely to die an early death.
- Medically and Biblically anger kills people.
- What does the word of God say about anger?
- There is a wealth of scripture passages that deal with this important subject.
- In fact there are so many verses that deal with anger that it is impossible for me to even begun to cover them all.
- Anger provides a place for the devil.
- In Ephesians chapter 4 Paul tells us that, when we are angry, we give a place for Satan to come and get foothold in our lives.
- Psalm 4:4 In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.
- The Psalmist said that, when we become angry, we need to search our heart and understand what the damaging effect of it will be.
- Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
- Paul is saying when we are angry we will say things we shouldn’t say.
- Ephesians 4:30 “And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God.”
- Paul says when we are angry we will do things we should not do.
- Ephesians 4:31 “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:”
- What is Paul saying?
- He is saying when we are angry we feel things we shouldn’t feel.
- You say things you shouldn’t say and you do things you shouldn’t do.
- Satan gains a place in our lives through anger.
- The devil will wreak havoc in our lives at that point.
- How many times have we seen people allow anger to become an obsession in their lives?
- It is a result of their refusal to deal with their anger.
- And because of it, the enemy comes in; he intensifies and magnifies the anger.
- The Bible says that anger keeps us from living a Holy life.
James 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
James 1:20 For man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
- James says when we are angry we are not living the right life that God requires.
- Paul in Galatians 5: talks about the contrast between the work of the flesh and the works of the spirit.
- When Paul talks about the deeds of the flesh here, he talks about Immorality, impurity, sensuality, outbursts of anger, strife, jealousy, disputes, dissensions, and faction. When we look at that stuff, we realize that the bedrock of that based on anger. It is anger that causes most of those deeds of the flesh to betray us.
- Then he goes on to talk about the works of the spirit which are Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Gentleness, Self-control.
- Paul said I want you to know that anger is a catalyst to a host of things that happen in our lives of jealousy and dissension and rage and disputes.
- The Bible says that anger causes conflict in the lives of others.
Proverbs 29:22 An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.
Proverbs 15:18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.
- Anger causes other people to become angry.
Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
Proverbs 22:25 Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.
- This says that, if you hang around angry people, the chances are that you’re going to become an angry person.
- In fact, children of angry parents often grow up to be angry parents too.
- Anger destroys our integrity.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
- We make bad decisions when we get angry.
- Nothing good comes from decisions made in anger;
1 Samuel 18:6 And it came to pass as they came, when David was returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women came out of all cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet king Saul, with tabrets, with joy, and with instruments of music.
1 Samuel 18:7 And the women answered one another as they played, and said, “ Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.”
1 Samuel 18:8 And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, “They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom?”
1 Samuel 18:9 And Saul eyed David from that day and forward.
1 Samuel 18:10 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied in the midst of the house: and David played with his hand, as at other times: and there was a javelin in Saul’s hand.
1 Samuel 18:11 And Saul cast the javelin; for he said, “I will smite David even to the wall with it.” And David avoided out of his presence twice.
- Little did Saul realize that he had become the prophet of his own emotions that day because David would surely get that Kingdom.
- Listen friend, anger and strife and hostility--those emotions will cause you to surrender the kingdom of the best you have for your life to the person or the thing you are angry at.
- It will come back like a boomerang to haunt you.
- When you let someone put anger in your life, you begin to get angry like Saul.
- See Saul began to eye David from that day forward, always with suspicion.
- Saul would no longer have rest even though he had the best bed in the kingdom.
- Saul wasn’t going to be able to enjoy his food although he had the best served meals in the Kingdom.
- Saul was not going to be able to enjoy his position even though he had the scepter in his hand.
- Why? Because he had allowed anger to infiltrate his heart and mind and control his life.
- After the day he got mad, he would spend the next fifteen years trying to destroy the kid he had handed the Kingdom to.
- Anger causes bad decisions to be made in life.
- Anger interferes with our receiving God’s blessing.
2 Kings 5:11 But Naaman was wroth, and went away, and said, “Behold, I thought, He will surely come out to me, and stand, and call on the name of the LORD his God, and strike his hand over the place, and recover the leper.”
2 Kings 5:12 Are not Abana and Pharpar, rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? May I not wash in them, and be clean? So he turned and went away in a rage.
- How many times have we got angry because things didn’t happen the way we wanted them to?
- He was about to lose the miracle he needed because of anger.
VII. Anger can lead to swift destruction.
Numbers 22:21 And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.
Numbers 22:22 And God’s anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the LORD stood in the way for an adversary against him. Now he was riding upon his ass, and his two servants were with him.
Numbers 22:23 And the ass saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field: and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way.
Numbers 22:24 But the angel of the LORD stood in a path of the vineyards, a wall being on this side, and a wall on that side.
Numbers 22:25 And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she thrust herself unto the wall, and crushed Balaam’s foot against the wall: and he smote her again.
Numbers 22:26 And the angel of the LORD went further, and stood in a narrow place, where was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left.
Numbers 22:27 And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she fell down under Balaam: and Balaam’s anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff.
Numbers 22:28 And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, “What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?”
Numbers 22:29 And Balaam said unto the ass, “Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.”
Numbers 22:30 And the ass said unto Balaam, “Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? Was I ever wont to do so unto thee?” And he said, “Nay.”
Numbers 22:31 Then the LORD opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he bowed down his head, and fell flat on his face.
Numbers 22:32 And the angel of the LORD said unto him, “Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times? Behold, I went out to withstand thee, because thy way is perverse before me:”
Numbers 22:33 And the ass saw me, and turned from me these three times: unless she had turned from me, surely now also I had slain thee, and saved her alive.
2 Peter 2:15 Which have forsaken the right way, and are gone astray, following the way of Balaam the son of Bosor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness;
2 Peter 2:16 But was rebuked for his iniquity: the dumb ass speaking with man’s voice forbade the madness of the prophet.
- Anger makes us unqualified to lead.
Titus 1:6 If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.
Titus 1:7 For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not self-willed, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre;
Titus 1:8 But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate;
Titus 1:9 Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.
- Finally those in leadership roles--the Pastor all the way down to those who fulfill every position of leadership--we are not to allow ourselves to be quick-tempered.
- We must keep our lives and our emotions in check. How important it is that we acknowledge this need!
- If Jesus were here in person today, here is what he would say:
- I want to quote Jesus today!
Matthew 5:22 But I say to you that every one who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment.
- The King James version says without a cause-that was changed by a medieval scholar named Arasmas.
- Anger leads to taking vengeance and that revenge is never able to be fully satisfied.
- But Jesus said, “Vengeance is mine saith the Lord. I will repay.”
- But few of us are willing to accept that arrangement.
- After a nasty classmate had pushed a ten-year-old boy into the mud, he was told it was unnecessary to get even because God will punish evil doers. He responded all right then; I’ll give Him till Saturday!
- Some say, “I don’t get mad; I just get even!” If you want to get even, then you did get mad.
Dr. Macmillan wrote a book None of These Diseases!
Let me quote him: He said, “The moment I start hating a man I become his slave. I can’t enjoy my work any more because he even controls my thoughts. Resentment produces too much stress for the hormones in my body and I become fatigued only after a few hours work and the work that I formally enjoyed is now drudgery.” He says that even vacations cease to give m pleasure. It may be a luxury car I drive but the experience is such that I might as well be driving a wagon. The man I am angry with, hounds me everywhere I go. I can’t escape him from my mind. When the waiter serves me a porterhouse stake with a baked potato and a wonderful desert, it might as well be bread and water, for my teeth chew the food but the man I hate will not permit me to enjoy it. For the man I am angry with I am his slave.
As we can see, anger is a very damaging emotion that must be controlled. To do so, we must submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit.
MASTERING EMOTIONS DEFINITIONS
ANGER -------------------------------------------------Loss of control over others or self and attempt to regain it.
ANXIETY -----------------------------------------------Incapacitating the self to avoid preparing for a situation.
BOREDOM ---------------------------Not taking responsibility for my own happiness or entertainment. The effort involved to stay in a negative mood.
CONFUSION ---------------------Laziness of mind to keep from dealing with a situation or making a decision.
DEPRESSION ----------------------------------------------Indulging in helplessness as a luxury.
FEAR -------------------------------Entertaining a fantasy of a danger that has not happened.
GRIEF ----------------------------------- Loss of control over a source of love or attention.
GUILT ------------------------------------Indulging in concern over a past situation in order to avoid taking action now.
HATE -----------------------------------------------------------------Misplaced expression of love.
HOMESICKNESS -------------------------------------Loss of source of attention and a source of self-identity.
HURT ----------------------------------Denial of responsibility for one’s own feelings or a feeling that another is not doing what I want her/him to do.
JEALOUSY -----------------------Feeling of inadequacy to a known or unknown competitor.
LONELINESS ---------------------Placing responsibility for my happiness on someone else.
REGRET -----------------------------------------Feeling inferior because something didn’t go the way I wanted it to.
REJECTION ---------------------------Unsuccessful attempt to gain approval from another.
SELF-PITY ---------------------------------------------------Indulging in helplessness as a luxury (substitute for self-love).
SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS ---------------------------Feeling superior to another in order to feel good about myself.
SHYNESS ---------------------------------------------------------------------------Waiting for someone else to tell me I’m OK.
FOR THE EMOTION OF --------------------USE THE DEFINITION OF
AGGRAVATION --- ANGER
ANNOYANCE --- ANGER
APATHY --- BOREDOM
CONTEMPT --- SELF-RIGHTOUSNESS
DISAPPOINTMENT --- REGRET
DISDAIN --- SELF-RIGHTOUSNESS
FRUSTRATION --- ANGER
IMPATIENCE --- ANGER
INDIFFERENCE --- BOREDOM
INDIGNATION --- SELF-RIGHTOUSNESS
IRRITATION --- ANGER
PRIDE --- SELF-RIGHTOUSNESS
REMORSE --- GRIEF
RESENTMENT --- ANGER & HURT
SADNESS --- REGRET
FATIGUE --- BOREDOM, AVOIDANCE OF WHAT YOU DON’T WANT
Discipleship - How to Master Your Emotions
Hedonism teaches that emotions are your master.
They would say if it does not feel good then do not do it. Emotions make good servants, but they are tyrants as a master. Christ must be your master and not your emotions. He wants you to have emotions, just as he does, but he wants you to be in control of your emotions. Emotions are an essential part of the human personality.
Like a world without color, life without emotion would be dull.
Although there would no longer be anxiety or anger, there would also be no love or joy. God created you as an emotional being.
Emotions are often the feelings of pleasantness or unpleasantness.
They are reactions to internal or external stimulus.
Although you may classify emotions as good or bad, they are not to be classified as such. Jesus had emotions and is our example of how to serve the Kingdom. Jesus was angry at the crowd for their lack of faith: Mark 3:5 And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.
Jesus teaches us that love is to be a part of a lifestyle as his disciple: John 13:34-35 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
Jesus weeps over the lack of faith in men today :
John 11:35 Jesus wept
Jesus wants us to have joy.
John 17:13 And now come I to thee; and these things I speak in the world, that they might have my joy fulfilled in themselves.
Emotions are spontaneous responses to your values and beliefs that either have been affirmed or challenged. Because your values and beliefs are not the same as any other person’s, you will react to the same circumstance in different ways.
A good example is the following:
Matthew 21:12-16 Jesus made a whip from cords and drove the money changers from the Temple. The chief priest and scribes had no problems with this, but Jesus was angry because of what they had made God’s house into--a house of mercantile.
